Short answer: when you hear that someone has died, say Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un: "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." To the family, use the words the Prophet ﷺ sent to his grieving daughter: "To Allah belongs what He took and to Him belongs what He gave, and everything with Him has an appointed time, so be patient and hope for reward." Keep it short, make dua for the one who died, and offer real help, such as food for the family.
When you hear the news
The Quran teaches the words to say at any loss: Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (2:156). Its meaning, its use and the reply are on its own page: Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. The verses around it promise that those who say it with patience receive "blessings from their Lord and mercy" (2:157).
For the bereaved themselves, the Prophet ﷺ taught a dua that Umm Salamah said when her husband Abu Salamah died. She wondered who could be better than him, and Allah gave her the Prophet ﷺ himself as a husband:
إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي وَأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا
Innā lillāhi wa innā ilayhi rājiʿūn. Allāhumma'jurnī fī muṣībatī wa akhlif lī khayran minhā
We belong to Allah and to Him we return. O Allah, reward me in my affliction and replace it for me with something better.
Sahih Muslim 918, from Umm Salamah
The Prophet's ﷺ words of condolence
When a grandson of the Prophet ﷺ was dying, his daughter sent for him. He sent back his greeting and this message:
إِنَّ لِلَّهِ مَا أَخَذَ وَلَهُ مَا أَعْطَى وَكُلٌّ عِنْدَهُ بِأَجَلٍ مُسَمًّى، فَلْتَصْبِرْ وَلْتَحْتَسِبْ
Inna lillāhi mā akhadha wa lahū mā aʿṭā, wa kullun ʿindahū bi-ajalin musammā, fal-taṣbir wal-taḥtasib
To Allah belongs what He took and to Him belongs what He gave, and everything with Him has an appointed time. So let her be patient and hope for reward.
Sahih al-Bukhari 1284 and Sahih Muslim 923, from Usamah ibn Zayd
When you say it to someone directly, use "you": "so be patient and hope for reward". Imam al-Nawawi called this the best wording of condolence. When he then went to her and the child died in his arms, his eyes filled with tears. Asked about it, he said: "This is mercy that Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants."
Common condolence phrases
| Say | Meaning | Where it comes from |
|---|---|---|
| Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un | Indeed we belong to Allah, and to Him we return | Quran 2:156 |
| Inna lillahi ma akhadha wa lahu ma a'ta... | To Allah belongs what He took and what He gave... | The Prophet ﷺ (Bukhari 1284) |
| A'zamallahu ajrak, wa ahsana aza'ak, wa ghafara li mayyitik | May Allah make your reward great, give you good comfort, and forgive your deceased | Recommended by scholars and recorded by al-Nawawi; not a hadith |
| Allahu yarhamuhu / yarhamuha | May Allah have mercy on him / her | A dua; any sincere dua is good |
| Allahummaghfir lahu warhamhu | O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him | From the janazah duas (Muslim 963) |
| Ahsan Allahu aza'akum | May Allah give you all good comfort | A common wording of scholars |
Messages you can send
These are examples written by us, not fixed wordings. Short and sincere is best.
- "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. I am so sorry for your loss. May Allah have mercy on him and give you patience."
- "To Allah belongs what He took and what He gave. May He forgive her, fill her grave with light, and comfort you all."
- "I just heard about your father. May Allah grant him Jannatul Firdaus. I am bringing dinner tomorrow evening, and I am here if you need anything."
- "May Allah make your reward great and your patience beautiful, and forgive your mother. You are in my duas."
- "Your brother was always kind to me. I will remember him in my prayers. Please tell me how I can help."
- For a child: "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. May Allah make your little one a means of Paradise for you, and give your hearts rest."
- To a non-Muslim friend: "I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you and your family, and I pray you find comfort and patience."
The sunnah of consoling the family
- Visit them. Consoling (ta'ziyah) is a sunnah. A hadith in Ibn Majah says that whoever consoles a believer in a calamity, Allah will clothe him in garments of honour on the Day of Resurrection. Al-Albani graded it hasan; other scholars graded it weak.1
- Bring food. When news came that Ja'far had been killed, the Prophet ﷺ said: "Prepare food for the family of Ja'far, for something has come to them that keeps them busy."2 It is the neighbours and relatives who cook, not the grieving family.
- Make dua for the one who died. When Abu Salamah died, the Prophet ﷺ closed his eyes and prayed for him by name, for forgiveness, a high rank, and light in his grave.3 See the dua for the deceased.
- Pray the janazah and follow the funeral. See how to pray janazah.
- Keep it short. Say your words, sit a little, help with something practical, and leave them space.
What to avoid
- Wailing and tearing clothes. "He is not one of us who slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes and calls out with the call of the days of ignorance."4 Crying is not forbidden: the Prophet ﷺ wept at the death of his son Ibrahim.5
- Telling people not to cry, or that tears mean weak faith.
- Asking for details of how they died, or what the family "should have" done.
- Claiming certainty about the Hereafter, such as "he is definitely in Jannah". Say "we hope", and make dua.
- Comparisons such as "at least he lived long" or "I know exactly how you feel".
- Turning the house into a feast. Hanafi scholars disliked the family hosting meals for visitors in the days after a death.
Mourning periods
The Prophet ﷺ said it is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn a dead person for more than three days, except for her husband, for whom she mourns four months and ten days.6
| Who | Mourning period |
|---|---|
| Family and friends | Up to three days of mourning; grief itself has no time limit |
| A widow | Four months and ten days (2:234), or until she gives birth if pregnant, with the rules of iddah |
| Those consoling | Consolation is best in the first three days |
Consoling is recommended from the death until three days after it, and disliked after three days, except for someone who was away or did not hear. There is no harm in the family sitting at home for up to three days to receive people, as long as nothing forbidden happens. The widow observes mourning (hidad) through her iddah: no adornment, perfume or henna, and she stays in her home except for need. In the Hanafi school, a woman in the iddah of an irrevocable divorce also observes hidad.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i and Hanbali
- Consoling is sunnah, best within three days. Many in these schools disliked the family sitting formally to receive condolences. Hidad applies to the widow, not to a divorced woman.
- Maliki
- Consoling is recommended. Hidad applies to the widow, not to a divorced woman.
To work out the dates of a widow's iddah, use the iddah calculator.
If the person who died was not Muslim
You can and should console a non-Muslim friend. Express sympathy, offer help, and pray that Allah gives them patience and comfort. Scholars say a Muslim does not ask forgiveness for someone who died as a non-Muslim (9:113), so phrases such as "may Allah forgive him" are not used, but kindness, presence and practical help are all part of the Sunnah.
FAQ
What do you say when someone dies in Islam?
Say "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un" (Indeed we belong to Allah, and to Him we return), from Quran 2:156. Then make dua for the one who died, such as "Allahu yarhamuh", may Allah have mercy on him.
What is the best Islamic condolence message?
The words of the Prophet ﷺ: "To Allah belongs what He took and to Him belongs what He gave, and everything with Him has an appointed time, so be patient and hope for reward" (Bukhari 1284).
How many days is condolence in Islam?
Consolation is best in the first three days. In the Hanafi school it is disliked after three days, except for someone who was away. A widow mourns for four months and ten days.
Is "A'zamallahu ajrak" from a hadith?
No. It is a wording scholars recommended, recorded by al-Nawawi in al-Adhkar. It is a good dua, but it is not the Prophet's ﷺ own wording.
What can I say to a non-Muslim when someone dies?
Offer sympathy, prayers for their patience and comfort, and practical help. Asking forgiveness for a non-Muslim who has died is not done (9:113).
Sources
- Sunan Ibn Majah 1601, from Amr ibn Hazm; graded hasan by al-Albani and weak by Shuaib al-Arnaut.
- Sunan Abu Dawud 3132 and Jami at-Tirmidhi 998, from Abdullah ibn Ja'far; graded hasan.
- Sahih Muslim 920, from Umm Salamah.
- Sahih al-Bukhari 1294, from Abdullah ibn Masud.
- Sahih al-Bukhari 1303, from Anas.
- Sahih al-Bukhari 1280 and Sahih Muslim 1486, from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah, from Umm Habibah.
- Sahih Muslim 918, from Umm Salamah; Sahih al-Bukhari 1284 and Sahih Muslim 923, from Usamah ibn Zayd. Muslim 963, the janazah dua, from Awf ibn Malik.
- Al-Nawawi, al-Adhkar, chapter on condolence. On the Hanafi rules: al-Shurunbulali, Maraqi al-Falah, and Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, on ta'ziyah and hidad.
- Quran 2:155 to 157, 2:234 and 9:113, translation by Sahih International.
The rulings on this page are pending review by the scholars on our team.