Short answer
In the Hanafi school women may visit graves to remember death and pray for the dead, as long as there is no wailing, no loud grief and no mixing that leads to fitnah. Scholars advise young women to go rarely. Visiting the grave of the Prophet ﷺ is recommended for everyone.
Permitted on the relied-upon view, since the general permission includes women, with conditions: full hijab, no wailing or beating the chest, no impermissible practices at the graves. Where she cannot control her grief, or it brings fitnah, it is makruh. Visiting the Prophet's ﷺ grave is mustahabb.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- Makruh for women, because of their tender hearts, except the grave of the Prophet ﷺ, which is recommended.
- Maliki
- Permitted for older women; young women should not go where fitnah is feared.
- Hanbali
- Makruh for women on the relied-upon view, except passing by a grave and greeting its people.
Explanation
At first the Prophet ﷺ forbade visiting graves, then he said: I had forbidden you from visiting graves, so visit them. The scholars differ on whether this permission includes women. One strong piece of evidence that it does: Aishah asked him what she should say when visiting the graves, and he taught her: peace be upon the people of these dwellings, of the believers and the Muslims. He taught her the words rather than telling her not to go.
On the other side is a hadith in which he cursed women who visit graves often. The Hanafi scholars read this as referring to frequent visits with wailing and loud lamentation, or to the time before the permission was given. This is why the Hanafi books allow women to visit with conditions.
The conditions:
- Full hijab and modest conduct.
- No wailing, screaming, tearing clothes or slapping the face. Quiet tears are natural and fine.
- No practices that are not from the sunnah at the grave, such as prostrating to it or asking the dead for help.
- For young women, scholars advise visiting rarely, with a mahram, at quiet times.
At the grave, greet the dead with salam, make dua for them, and recite what you can of the Quran if you are not menstruating. See the dua for visiting the grave and the dua for the deceased. A woman in her period may still go and make dua.
The evidence
Sahih Muslim 977
Sahih... نهيتكم عن زيارة القبور فزوروها ...
"I had forbidden you from visiting graves, so now visit them."
The general permission to visit graves.
Sahih Muslim 974
Sahih... السلام على أهل الديار من المؤمنين والمسلمين ...
"Say: peace be upon the people of these dwellings, of the believers and the Muslims."
The Prophet ﷺ taught Aishah what to say at the graves, which shows women may visit.
Where the ruling is recorded
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Salah, chapter on funerals, section on visiting graves. The permission includes women, with conditions; disliked where wailing or fitnah is feared.
- al-Majmu' (Nawawi), Kitab al-Jana'iz, section on visiting graves. Shafi'i: disliked for women.
This answer is pending review by the scholars on our team. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.