Short answer
Yes, arranged marriages are allowed and common, as long as both the man and the woman freely agree. A forced marriage is not allowed. In the Hanafi school an adult woman cannot be married without her consent, even by her father, and if she is, the nikah depends on her approval. Other schools give a father more say over a virgin daughter.
Parents may suggest and arrange a match, but an adult (baligh) son or daughter cannot be married against their will. A virgin's silence on being asked counts as consent; a previously married woman must say yes. If a wali marries an adult woman without her permission, the nikah is suspended on her approval and is void if she rejects it.
Other madhhabs
- Shafi'i
- A father or grandfather may marry off a virgin daughter, even an adult, without her consent (ijbar) if certain conditions are met, though asking her is recommended.
- Maliki
- The father may compel a virgin daughter in marriage to a suitable man, but not a previously married woman.
- Hanbali
- The known view allows a father to compel a virgin daughter; another view, favoured by some Hanbali scholars, requires her consent once adult.
Explanation
In many Muslim families, parents or relatives suggest a match, the two meet with family present, and then decide. This is a good and sunnah-friendly way to marry, because it brings experience, family support and checks on character. Islam has no objection to it. What Islam forbids is taking away the choice.
The Prophet ﷺ said a previously married woman is not married off until she is consulted, and a virgin until her permission is sought. When Khansa bint Khidam's father married her to a man she disliked, she went to him, and he cancelled the marriage. This is why Hanafi scholars say that no wali, even a father, may force an adult woman. The same applies to an adult son.
Practical points:
- Forcing a yes out of someone with threats, beating or emotional blackmail is haram. In the Hanafi books a yes spoken under such force can still take effect, so anyone in this situation should speak to a mufti at once.
- A virgin's silence or smile when asked is taken as yes, but tears of distress or clear refusal is a no.
- If you are being pressured, tell an imam, a trusted relative or a women's support service. In Western countries forced marriage is also a crime.
- A good child still listens to parents' advice, and parents should listen to their children. See marrying without parents' permission.
For the next steps, see the nikah guide and dua for marriage.
The evidence
Quran, Surah An-Nisaa 4:19
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا ﴿١٩﴾
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
Women are not to be married or held against their will.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5136
Sahih... لا تنكح الأيم حتى تستأمر ولا تنكح البكر حتى تستأذن ...
"A previously married woman is not married off until she is consulted, and a virgin is not married off until her permission is sought."
Consent is required for marriage.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5138
Sahih... وهي ثيب فكرهت ذلك فأتت رسول الله ...
"Her father married her off while she was previously married and she disliked it, so she came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and he annulled her marriage."
A marriage without the woman's consent is not upheld.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Hidaya, Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Awliya' wa al-Akfa'. The wali cannot compel an adult virgin; her silence is consent.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Nikah, Bab al-Wali. A nikah done without the adult woman's permission is suspended on her approval.
- Minhaj al-Talibin (Nawawi), Kitab al-Nikah, on the wali's power of ijbar. The Shafi'i rule on compelling a virgin.
This answer is pending review by the scholars on our team. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.