Short answer
Yes. Visiting graves is sunnah for men, because it reminds us of death and the hereafter and lets us make dua for the dead. Greet the people of the graves, recite some Quran, and make dua. Do not sit or walk on graves, pray toward them, or ask the dead for help.
Visiting graves is mustahabb (recommended) for men. The visitor greets the dead, recites Quran such as al-Fatiha, al-Ikhlas or Yasin and gifts its reward, and makes dua. Sitting on graves, stepping on them and prostrating to them are prohibited.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
At first the Prophet ﷺ forbade visiting graves, because people were new to Islam and close to the customs of jahiliyyah. Later he said: "I used to forbid you from visiting graves, but now visit them." He also said they remind you of death. The four schools agree that visiting graves is recommended for men.
What to do at the grave:
- Greet the dead: As-salamu 'alaykum ahl al-diyar min al-mu'minin wal-muslimin, wa inna in sha' Allahu bikum lahiqun. See the full dua for visiting the grave.
- Stand facing the person's face if you know where it is, with your back to the qiblah, or stand however is easy.
- Recite Quran, such as al-Fatiha, al-Ikhlas or Yasin, and ask Allah to give its reward to them.
- Make dua for their forgiveness and for all the Muslims buried there.
- Reflect: one day you will lie in a grave too.
What to avoid:
- Sitting on graves or walking over them. Use the paths.
- Praying toward a grave or prostrating to it.
- Asking the dead to fulfil your needs. Ask Allah alone.
- Wailing, tearing clothes or loud lamentation.
Any day is fine. Hanafi books mention Friday as an especially good day, but there is no required day or time. For visiting by women, see can women go to the graveyard.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Aal-i-Imraan 3:185
كُلُّ نَفْسٍۢ ذَآئِقَةُ ٱلْمَوْتِ ۗ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَٰمَةِ ۖ فَمَن زُحْزِحَ عَنِ ٱلنَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ ٱلْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ ۗ وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا مَتَٰعُ ٱلْغُرُورِ ﴿١٨٥﴾
Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion.
Visiting graves keeps this truth in front of us.
Sahih Muslim 977
Sahih... نهيتكم عن زيارة القبور فزوروها ...
"I used to forbid you from visiting graves, but now visit them."
The earlier ban was lifted and visiting became sunnah.
Sahih Muslim 976
Sahih... فزوروا القبور فإنها تذكر الموت ...
"Visit the graves, for they remind you of death."
The purpose of the visit is reminder and dua.
Sahih Muslim 975
Sahih... السلام عليكم أهل الديار من المؤمنين والمسلمين وإنا إن شاء الله للاحقون ...
"Peace be on you, people of these dwellings, believers and Muslims, and we will join you if Allah wills."
This is the greeting taught for the graves.
Sahih Muslim 972
Sahih... لا تجلسوا على القبور ولا تصلوا إليها ...
"Do not sit on graves and do not pray toward them."
The limits of respect at the graveyard.
Where the ruling is recorded
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Salah, Bab Salat al-Janazah. The section on visiting graves, what to recite and the best days.
- al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, Kitab al-Karahiyah. The manners of visiting graves.
This answer is pending review by the scholars on our team. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.