Short answer
Harming a child is haram: hitting that hurts, injures, leaves marks, targets the face or comes from anger. The Hanafi school allows only a light, harmless tap for a child of ten or older who refuses prayer, as a last resort, and where the law forbids smacking you must follow it. The sunnah is gentleness: the Prophet ﷺ never struck a woman or a servant.
Discipline (ta'dib) by a guardian is permitted only for teaching, from about age ten, by hand and not with an object, no more than three light taps, avoiding the face. Anything beyond this is sinful, and Hanafi jurists hold the guardian liable for any harm caused.
The four schools agree on this.
Explanation
Many parents hear only half of the hadith about prayer at ten. The other half is the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ himself: Aishah said he never struck anything with his hand, not a woman and not a servant, except in battle. He said that Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in every matter, and that whoever is not merciful to the young is not one of us. The four schools agree on the limits below.
Never allowed:
- Hitting in anger or to release your own frustration.
- Hitting the face, or any blow that bruises, injures or leaves a mark.
- Using belts, sticks, slippers or other objects.
- Hitting babies and small children, who cannot yet understand.
- Humiliating a child, cursing or name-calling.
What works better: explain, praise good behaviour, give rewards, take away privileges, and keep calm routines. If you are angry, wait before you respond; see the dua for anger.
The law also matters. Some countries and regions ban all smacking, and child protection law applies everywhere. A Muslim must obey such laws, since nothing in the Shariah requires hitting a child. If a child is being abused, protecting the child comes first: speak to someone who can act.
For the prayer question itself, see when children should start praying.
The evidence
Quran, Surah Aal-i-Imraan 3:159
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍۢ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلْقَلْبِ لَٱنفَضُّوا۟ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ فَٱعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَمْرِ ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ ﴿١٥٩﴾
So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].
Harshness drives people away; gentleness wins hearts.
Sahih Muslim 2328
Sahih... ما ضرب رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم شيئا قط بيده ولا امرأة ولا خادما ...
"The Messenger of Allah never struck anything with his hand, not a woman and not a servant."
The Prophet's own practice was not to hit.
Sahih Muslim 2612
Sahih... إذا قاتل أحدكم أخاه فليجتنب الوجه ...
"When one of you strikes his brother, let him avoid the face."
Striking the face is forbidden in every case.
Sahih al-Bukhari 6927
Sahih... إن الله رفيق يحب الرفق في الأمر كله ...
"Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in every matter."
Gentleness is the default in raising children.
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1919
Graded sahih... ليس منا من لم يرحم صغيرنا ...
"He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young."
Mercy to children is part of faith.
Where the ruling is recorded
- al-Durr al-Mukhtar, Kitab al-Salah, opening section. Discipline at ten is by hand, not with a stick, and not more than three.
- Radd al-Muhtar (Ibn Abidin), Kitab al-Hudud, chapter on ta'zir. The guardian's discipline is conditional on causing no harm.
This answer is pending review by the scholars on our team. Quran translation by Sahih International. Hadith Arabic from the standard editions of the six books and the Muwatta, with gradings as recorded there; the English is our own rendering. Spotted a mistake? Tell us.